Although I have been labeled a psychopath, the more I learn about how people define the term and how we are represented, the less connection I feel with the word. I did not like how we were either deemed heartless killers or manipulative social chameleons. We are all human. Do we not all manipulate the strings of life to puppet the world to our will and how we would have it?

I find the “imitations” to be sub-conscious manifestations of the socially deemed “unacceptable” facets of personality that all humans share. I know I am different, but you are not all the same either.

What if I just was not taught the ability to empathize and rather was taught to value logic more? Not to say that I am not capable of emotion. I love. I hate. I smile. I cry.

There are so many ways to label me a psychopath. There are also so many ways to call me “normal”.

do not choose a side, because you are the culmination of the two.

They make life… boring.

A Sociopath’s Calm

I recently began a train of introspection to help better understand who I am. I noticed another sociopathic idiosyncrasy. I believe from this stems all misconceptions of the psychopath’s lack of emotion. As one can easily see, I am talking about how calm we normally are, especially in emotionally devastating events. The imagery painted by society of the individual standing still amidst the crowd running for its life as rubble falls and crashes onto the people. The o’too-cliche scene of the man witnessing the death of many people and not showing any change in facial expression. Our calm has been highly misconstrued and has deceived the world of our true nature.

Our calm is not eternal or forever. Nor does our calm symbolize the eye at the center of a hurricane, and foreshadow the manifestation of our intense hate, malice, or any other destructive emotion. We do not hide ourselves, their is no true psychopath hidden behind a mask of lies. Our calm is just our choice. We choose to not be emotionally attached because we find it wasteful to be attached to whatever event is at hand. We reserve our daily intellectual capacities so that we may sparingly divulge our energies into what we find truly worthwhile and interesting. We are not patiently  storing our hate withing ourselves and walk around like a ticking time bomb. We are rather like automated password locked computers that only allow access to certain keywords or phrases.

We are unapologetic-ally meticulously emotionally selective.

Sadness and Sorrow

I found pride within the dry desserts of my emotional plane. The seemingly endless vacuum of a soul I had comforted me because of the obvious difference there was between me and them. However, this attribute becomes suddenly typologized, stereotyped, and generalized. We are of an emotionally selective group. Never will you see us cry over the death of an individual society tells us to weep over. Restrictions and obligations such as family will not stir our hearts. No…

Our hearts are our own. We are individuals of individuals. We segregate ourselves through our own constructs. Those whom we encounter are segregated within our worlds as well. we experience empathy, but it is different to the non-sociopaths. I look at your definition of empathy and feel as though my deviation is the same. I feel as you feel; I just happen to feel more. We surpass our appetites and use our love to manifest our ideals, and mine happen to revolve around the poetic potential of the moment.

We are not incapable. We are just scrutinizingly objective/selective.

The Brevity of Memory

How often is it we lose ourselves in our own misery? How often do we mistake our priorities and relinquish our progress. We sloth and we dull our the blades of our minds through mindless wonder. How oft we forget the value of the treasure we hold, only to remember when it has already vanished within time.

We fall back. From our stumbling we must rise up and remember our failures.

Gender Identification

One of our societies greatest overlooks is the way we identify as a gender, and the importance or gravity we lay upon it. You see, there is a gender dogma when it comes to our daily vernacular. How often do we see children segregate their language and activities by gender? You can see this in the daily lives of adults as well. The societal push to act like a boy/man or girl/woman. Why do we do this? There is no need. What if we were to eliminate the physical awareness of gender distinction. Now of course there has to be the awareness of sexual reproduction and sexual organs that distinguish individuals from another, but the weight, I advise, should be somewhat lessened.

In my youth there were many instances where I had to prove myself as a boy or man by doing many physically exploitative things. Fighting, working out, and talking back all proved that I was a man. Now how silly does that sound? To prove your gender is a preposterous idea when one looks at it in retrospect and logically. If we were to however focus on our minds instead of the trivial aspect of what hangs or does not hang inside one’s trousers than as a society, I believe that we would advance at a much more rapid rate. How much more wonderful would it be if our children worried about the contents of their minds rather than the contents of their pants. You see gender is not the social construct, the importance is.

Today we see the distinctions in gender even in our battles to prove their equality. The truth of the matter is that genders are not equal. They are entirely different. The each have their own benefits and weaknesses. So one cannot draw a straight line down society and expect equal outcomes from both genders. Our anatomies are too different.  However, our intellect is most likely all that we have where potential is identical. Now a connection can be made.

The difference between gender anatomy is focused on, so as individuals we divide ourselves further with our gender. At an early age we are exposed and forced to acknowledge the difference between genders. Imagine how the world would be if we focused on the similarities of our brains? Our intellect? Our curiosity. . .
The distinction between genders might very well disappear completely. Sexual preference would be a thing of the past. Homosexuals and heterosexuals would dissipate into history. Everyone would be bi-sexual and bigotry over sexuality would hence disappear. And if a sexual preference were to rise up, no commotion or riot would ever suppress it, for gender distinction would no longer be something to worry about.

Profile: White Beard

He is a proud man. He comes from a background of relative wealth and success. He enjoyed, on numerous occasions, reasons to believe himself to be superior to the common man. In his youth he was a great athlete. In his career, he held positions of superiority over all men in his company. Today he holds a position of similar strength.

In his youth, he was never committed to things. This is due to his father and the abhorrent relationship they shared during his youth and he would eventually find great admiration and make amends with him. He has pride in what could have been. He was athletically superior, w/o a doubt, but never did he refine his skills for an extended amount of time.

He also enjoyed the darker faculties of life. He would take to medically supplemented experiences and horizontal enjoyment throughout the years of his young adulthood. He was very much a person of appetite. Ignoble in his younger days and he would later repair the errs of his youth later on in his life.

He also suffered in ways that are common when it comes to aging. He lost his wife. His family battles with illness, and he himself fought cancer and other illnesses. After his one-year seclusion in mourning over his wife, he would take a 5 year sojourn in medically supplemented experiences and horizontal enjoyment.

Now from all of this, what can one induce?

He is a man of appetite. If he wants something, he will go get it. He has a very bellicose, focused, anxious, and reserved outlook on life. Like all individuals, he also suffers from a slate of cognitive dissonance (those who are unaware of what that is, I would recommend Kant’s or Nietzsche’s  essays on the subject).

His anxiety and focus are all internalized. On the outside he is like a regal lion. Like the lion whose tranquil focus is backed by the devastating force in his jaw and feet, Ron never shows all his cards. He is calculative in his speech and words. This does not mean he is silent when he does not know. No, he is more likely to thwart and redirect conversation into areas of which he is more comfortable, like the mongol who will retreat onto steppe lands for his horses during combat.

He does not admit defeat. For the whole of his childhood, he was raised to excel. His weakness is his inability to admit defeat. He is extremely competitive by nature so here his ambition can be found. All around he is a strong individual in character, but this is his main fault. He is self-righteous. He is prideful in his past endeavors and the pains he has gone through. He determines himself better for going through hardships and being different from people. Which is not really special to him only. This is common in all peoples. They believe themselves special by their own experiences because their experiences are all that they have to devise upon.

more will come

Live Like Gas

I believe that in all lives we can find a reoccurring theme. There will be some idea or conflict that will remain eternal throughout our lives. Mine is the tangibility of the mind. In many ways I am like a guinea pig used for my own experiments. Most of them have been thought experiments but they all stem out into the physical world so there really is no distinction to be made.

Now imagine the mind to be water. There are three states when it comes to water: solid, liquid, and gas. Colder climates will have ice and the warmer it gets the more abundant the other states of water there will be. Now imagine the environments of which the state of water exists to be the environments of which we reside. There are individuals out there who are less flexible with their thoughts, ideas, and imagination because their climate remains stagnate and inhibits progress and thus freezes the culmination of cognitive growth. These “freezing” climates would be like the minds of the illiterate, poor, and government bound.

Now enter the stage of where liberation or growth begins to culminate. Ideas of morality and equality emerge. This warmer climate would be well paired with religious households but in America. There is still a wide range of limiting ideas that could apply to whatever religion you are forced into but there is a wide range of liberating ideas, philosophies, and teachers that one could supplement themselves with. The more intellectual freedoms that are offered the warmer their intellectual environment becomes and the more freely they will be able to roam within the ethers of their minds.

Finally comes the last stage of the cognitive water, gas. This is when there are no faculties of intellectual confinement and one is free to roam and conceive new thoughts and ideas. One could imagine such a climate to be the equivalent to the laboratories of NASA or some other organization created for the purpose of experimentation, learning, and advancing. At such a stage no line of inquiry is prohibited or inclined. There are no preset notions of right and wrong, just discovery.

Now like all water vapors, oceans, and glaciers we do not remain in one state forever. If one is born in a particularly cold climate one does not have to stay there. However, just like how ice can eventually become gas, the gas can also become ice. As we advance through life we will not have any more control over the inputs of life today than we will tomorrow. To remain an intellectual one must stimulate one’s self with new ideas or else the mind will become cold and stop growing.

Insight into Happiness

Today I ask the question of happiness. What kind of happiness do I want? Is it just to be happy? What is Happiness?
At my current state, I highly value intelligence and different ways of thinking. Learning is my mistress. Although I felt joy on a number of occasions, it was more of a darker perspective. Now with happiness I have a number of obstacles I need to overcome. One, the word itself boggles me. For some strange reason I could not reason what it meant to be happy. Of course, one can use synonyms to help better understand the word– such as joyful, euphoria, etc. But those are all words that lead to the same general feeling. So I asked is it good to be happy? Two, if I were to choose to be happy, I feel uncomfortable with the idea for I feel like I will have to give up some intellectual ground. Can there be an intellectual that has the same analytical and philosophical mind while being in a state of general happiness? I asked myself these questions.
So, I must define the basis of my curiosity. What does it mean to be an intellectual? An intellectual is one that has a general curiosity in life and seeks answers to those questions. An intellectual is observant and yearns to learn and supplement themselves with knowledge and wisdom. It is the body of knowledge that one holds that makes one an intellectual but the heart or the strive behind the wisdoms that were acquired.

So what does critical thinking do in comparison to happiness? Can an intellectual be happy? So to analyze, one deconstructs. The very act of analyzing may be an obstacle to happiness. One can approach analyzing with a level of excitement but an approach with happiness seems to be a bit of a far stretch. Even the knowledge that one gains from the deconstruction will not make one happy. For one analyzes, not to be happy, but to learn. So since the purpose of the analysis is not for happiness but to gain a higher understanding, happiness cannot be expected from such an act. Where does this wisdom lead us?

Does the intellectual strive to be happy? I would think so, but the traits that define them restrict them from doing so. Does this lead to the question of whether one has to choose to be happy over their intellectual facets? Can one strive for intellectual cognition and be happy at the same time? So what makes one happy?

I believe there are two ways to approach happiness. The first being the happiness that is general throughout humanity. Being good person, recognition of being a good person, love, being loved. The second is idiosyncratic happiness. This is the happiness that comes from the specifics of our soul. The tailored events that makes one happy. High levels of joy can be achieved from both types for this is not a separation between happiness but a discourse that derives from a centerpiece.
So can the intellectual be happy?

An Observation of the Common Core

All want to be loved. All have an inherent desire to be liked, desired, and loved. All social actions stem from these base needs.

From this comes the projection of self. We mold our personalities to resemble the people who we deem to be the most attractive and respectable. As individuals we care too much about what other people think and this limits our actions from being true; we care about being loved more than we care about being truthful.

Whenever we compromise our appetite to be loved over being who we actually are, we are projecting. We project falsehood and hide our faces from the world because we fear that we will be unloved. The need to be admired becomes a driving factor in our lives.

The Negative Effects of the Selfie

There is a natural occurring phenomenon in this world, and that is the Selfie. There really does not need to be an explanation for I am sure that most of you have partaken in one or two of them yourselves. Even I have taken selfies before. I did not think a thing about them until today. Allow me to explain why I believe that selfies are of a detriment to society.

First what is a selfie? Like all intellectual problems, we should define what we are questioning to gain a better understanding of where and how we should stand on a certain subject. A selfie is when one takes a picture of ones self. But there is more to a selfie than a single photo, isn’t there?

A selfie does not come from merely one photo. A selfie is founded upon the tens of hundreds of photos you took beforehand just to make sure that the photo is  “just right”. Sometimes you do not even post the selfie. There are times where you just keep them locked away within the ether of digital memory stored within your digital device. Why do we take selfies?

What purpose do they serve us? All selfies are published on social networking sites. They are used to promote the individual that is being presented. Where is the harm in that? Take a look at the previous statement again. A tool which is used to promote the individual. How is one allowing one’s self to be promoted? Merely by the skin upon one’s face.

Often times the promotion is guised by negative comments of one’s self, and this practice is called “fishing for compliments”. People purposely say that they are ugly so that people will reassure them that they are indeed not so. This is an ugly practice for it does not reassure people but rather give them their “fix” of attention to function. This promotes attention-whoring instead of mental well-being. Why?

When “egging” on individuals to focus on one’s appearance, the spotlight turns away from the interior attributes and focuses solely on the physical appearances. This often leads to individuals valuing their looks more than the intellectual property that they can produce. This train of thought will ultimately lead to the mass of social network consumers to value their physical appearances more than their thoughts, and even more devastating, they will begin to value the looks of others over their intellectual prowess.

This acceptance-seeking attitude also develops an over-dependence on others. If one’s view of social success is dependent on comments, hits, likes, and follows, than one puts one’s own security at the whim of their peers. This can create self-consciousness and self-conscious thoughts, which is pretty pathetic.