The Idiocy of the Self-Conscious Page 3

Would you rather have sex with a goat and have no one find out, or not have sex with a goat but have everybody think you did? Before going any further answer the question for yourself.

The correct answer is the latter. The key is to not care about what people think of you, and not letting that get in the way of your decisions, your morals. It is too common for people to give up on what makes them happy in order to feel accepted. School is a perfect example for it is a perfect reflection upon the values and virtues of society.
Many years ago in middle school I came across a very ironic and blatant decision. There was an after school program which was divided into subsections of grades and classes. Each class had about 15-20 kids and a single volunteer to watch over the kids and make them work(most of the time).
My particular class had two “cliques”. One clique had one of the most popular girls and other relatively popular kids, including a “friend” of mine, and the other clique had the outer circle or the outcasts of the school. At first I was with my “friend” with the popular kids because he was really the only person I knew in the class but I saw them playing some game and I was greatly intrigued by them. So I went over and decided to play with them and had a great time learning about this group of people. And a few days later, like out of a poorly written “slice-of-life school drama”, the popular girl called me out and said, “Do you want to be popular or a weirdo?” And, without hesitation I might add, I said, “Weirdo” and was gladly accepted into the group of so-called “outcasts”. They were much more intellectually stimulating to be with and through them I was introduced to a multitude of people.
Sadly after a while the outcast group noticed that they were looked down upon and they tried to become popular. They sacrificed each other by making up rumors about one another. The conversations started to bore me again and soon I was left with a group of boring dilettantes.
Do not worry about what other people think, instead focus your energy on something more productive. It is limiting to your potential.
theDying Psychopath


9 thoughts on “The Idiocy of the Self-Conscious Page 3

  1. theShadow says:

    Samtire, if you wish to know me better, I can be reached at so that this blog remains firmly about you (and to keep certain thoughts from the other eyes that monitor this blog). I’ll continue commenting, but know this, my interest here (as I suspect the interest of others) is understanding your mind. If you wish to know mine, you will know it through my questions and ideas, found here or through (in)direct contact.
    I welcome further contact from you.


    • Do not worry, there are so many things I have already learned from you and about you. One of the greatest gifts that one can give to another is perspective. And I shall use it well


  2. theShadow says:

    I hope you don’t mind me having commented on the dilemma post, the contents of which are a bit more relevant to there, and here, on which I’ve other interests.
    Regarding your labelling, mislabelling a person in the context of history would hardly be an oversight, though I suspect that while you may fit the mantle of psychopath, there is a far more accurate term for you. It seems you are (as you said) of a different (dare one even say new) species of character. I’ve seen your introductory post – I merely wanted more information (though perhaps my intent shifted – I’m so changeable).
    Perhaps your rough moral paragon merely needs some attenuation? You may get bad answers from bad questions, but will that create the case for bad morals or are the unclear questions the source of your shifting moral paragon? So your bounds will be defined by the right question?
    I don’t mind at all.
    I plan to.


    • Although it would not be too much of a stretch to say that my labeling of psychopath is outdated and that I am actually an evolved form of the term, I perceive my differentiation of the norm to be from not a genetic disposition but from my own private intellectual escapades.
      You are right to say that through my questions comes the shifting of my “moral paragon” (which is a clever insight I might add) and definition of my boundaries come from my questions, but the fallacy here is the idea of bad morals. It is a sort of “what came first the chicken or the egg?” argument where it is not clear whether if the moral decline came from the bad question or the bad question from the moral decline.


      • theShadow says:

        I am limited and guided by the typical constraints of routine, which may be good because my hunger and ambition know few bounds. I seek to maintain balance, and beneath the veneer of many things, I seek to dominate, create and above all, grow. I hide my feelings, thoughts and emotions in shadow, which reflects the moral grey area in which I find many of my activities. I am no psychopath, but to those that do not know or understand me, I may appear as a sociopath or deviant. How do I define myself? I am the shadow that hungers behind the mask which casts it.


  3. theShadow says:

    That’s the trouble with children – they’re so predictable.

    Consider the idea that you’re put in a blank space (which you could interpret to mean as a generic empty environment), absent of all life and you can be sustained for the course of a natural life. When you first arrive, you are left with the directive that there is a problem and a solution that exists in this space. You must solve the problem by the end of life. What do you do?
    Do you fill your life trying to solve the problem (and risk being unable to find or solve it)? Do you try, fail (without knowing you have failed) and give up, to spare yourself the ambiguity of failure? Do you not try at all, hoping that the only true solution is to simple be?

    People are predictable because of their logical bounds. Give them novel ambiguity and watch them squirm. Unshackle them from their logical bounds and admire the fantastic randomness you’ve facilitated.

    Do you choose psychopathy for lack of a more tailored term or is there something more to it?

    What are your logical bounds?



    • Fundamentally there are three questions, the dilemma, the psychopath relation, and my logical bounds.
      Allow me to answer in order. With your logical bounds I am guessing you mean accepted truths, of which I would agree with what you say.
      For my answer with your situation about an empty environment without life, I would approach it in two ways. First does the problem have an answer that I seek. The grandness of the issue. What does it deal with? If my sole purpose now was to solve the problem and the problem is not fulfilling then I would simply kill myself. If it is grand, arduous, and a field of study where I can find growth, then by all means I would try to solve it. There also comes the question if I would actually accept the truth behind the solution. I do not know of course, but it is not a stretch to say that I could go mad and lose my mind after solving the problem and so I fear to solve it in the first place. It is a dilemma of which sanity and insanity loses division and become one and the same. To be sane in such an environment is insane. So can the problem be solved and the truth be separated from it? Am I searching for a truth or is the solution my inevitable psychological implosion? And even if I grow from my experience what is the point to the problem if after solving it there is not point or space or growth afterwords. Perhaps killing myself would be the best answer.
      For the term psychopath, there are two ways I relate to the term. 1st I have been labeled as a psychopath. 2nd Psychopath is the only term that I have found to be truly an elusive and debatable word that can fit who I am. Language is faulty and so perfect descriptions through its use can never be achieved. There are many words that I do not know and maybe I will find such a word to describe me, but for now psychopath will do. (you should look at my proper introduction post)
      For the subject of my logical bounds, I am in constant revelation and confusion. I discover things about myself and get lost in myself on the daily. I have a rough sketch of a moral paragon in my mind that I tend to follow, but it always changes. My logical bounds are found through my questions. If I ask bad questions I will get bad answers. More important than my search for finding my bounds is my search for finding the right question.
      And I hope you do not mind me using your dilemma.
      Please contact me more.
      theDying psychopath


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