Anger Page 10

Anger is the emotion I have had the most trouble over. There are times when I seem to have a grip on it and other times there is no telling. I have been trying to channel it to more productive means but sometimes it just does not work. I fear that I will one day lose control and do something that I will really regret. Anger has a place in the world but most of the times it chooses to show when it is most unneeded. And the anger of a psychopath is a little bit different from regular anger, I found. The anger of the regular individual will come out and disappear, usually. The common anger of a psychopath stays and lingers and latches onto everything it surrounds. That does not mean that the regular person cannot have the same effect it is just that the psychopath does this more often. Now we get angry over the most trivial things but that is just annoyance. Anger for us is something that is rare. It is like the difference between a burning fire and a erupting volcano. A fire is far more easier to control. When, however, a volcano erupts there is wide evacuation. You do not merely stop an eruption but rather prepare yourself for its impact. There were several instances in my life where I have gotten truly angry. There is one particular instance where I was actually halted in my release, ironically as I just described its unstoppable nature, in this instance I was silenced, but the after effects were tremendous. A simple fit of carnage turned into hate-filled grudge. If I were to ever commit murder, this would be why. It affects my psyche and the way I think. There use to be a time where I would have episodes of murder and pure destruction. A sort of frenzy that remained dormant inside of me would release itself and wreak havoc on the world that I create, often picturing the person I have in mind.
Kill me loudly,
theDying Psychopath

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12 thoughts on “Anger Page 10

  1. theShadow says:

    1. Sometimes I do. I maintain a calm exterior for the benefit and deception of those around me. On the days that I run wild, they’re terrified (it’s hilarious).

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      • theShadow says:

        I have. They’re unable to keep up with the torrent of ideas, the cold wind of imagination and restless energy that I’ve shown them. To force the momentary contents upon my mind would be akin to surrounding their consciousness with an insistent fog that dissipates briefly only with direct, intelligent thought, before once more beguiling them with a cocktail of crude thoughts, exceptional clear rationality and a demanding hunger for information.
        How do you think? What occupies or stirs your mind most often?

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      • Ah you are very much like a hurricane with many calm eyes.
        I am more like a blank space. Sometimes the space can be filled momentarily but it always go back to a clean white slate.
        Nothing occupies my mind the most. Just a whole lot of randomness to help ease my bordeom.

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  2. theShadow says:

    1.Interesting your episodes of carnage are hallucinogenic. Would you mind elaborating? Are your perceptions of a false carnage, or a distorted perception of real carnage?
    2. Silence because it is a rare, but powerful thing and because it represents an extraordinary effort to maintain the silence. If noise were the simple thing that could rendered society useless (though there are many), I would see the populace deafened, as both punishment for the utter noise which is detrimental to clear, rational thought, and as a salvation for the functional foundations that society offers. To those I disliked, I would leave them to rot in the noise, as they would progressively lose themselves to the lack of precision in their most basic of instruments: the senses. Those that know me are aware that when I go silent, something is very wrong and they have brains enough not to trifle with me; for when I am silent, I would like nothing more than to pull them into my abyss and enforce silence upon them – a domination of my will over theirs.

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    • 1. I believe the best way to answer would be through the sharing of an experience. One experience comes to mind quite vividly. I do not remember how it all started but it was some infectious thought that started everything. I was at the place where I live and I found myself feeling a queer combination of anger and anxiety. I was thinking about the said person and I began to day dream of what I would like to do to the said person. Before I knew it I began acting these murderous scenes out. It was a fit of carnage because the malice I felt made me lose control of myself and I did not really regain control until I was finished with my ‘episode’.
      2. So to clarify it is not that you go to a silent place but rather you ignore the sounds of your surroundings. When you are angry you go silent and wait for others to notice this and eventually have them go silent as well because of the vibe that dwells within the atmosphere?

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      • theShadow says:

        1. Sounds… almost fun. If I find that I’m pulled in an unfavourable direction, I usually try to imagine my emotional state dropping out -as if I suddenly lose the emotional energy- and that tends to keep certain flare ups at bay.
        2. Yes. Also, with some practice, projecting the “stay away” (or silence) vibe gets easier to use.

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      • 1. Yes emotional control is fun and all, but sometimes you just want to let release the leash and let yourself run wild for a day or two.
        2. Haha very nice

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    • 1. It was with my father. I hated my father and I was, for some time, to release my hate.
      2. There are two main ways that I cope. 1. I recognize the chemistry of the emotion in my head and I separate myself from myself. 2. I let it flow through me. I do not try to stop it or force anything upon it. I just let it happen.

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      • theShadow says:

        1. Do you hate him still or has something changed?
        2. Interesting mechanisms. When I recognize the chemistry, I either accept it (and in doing so, partially detach), or bite down on my anger with my will and silence it.

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