One of our societies greatest overlooks is the way we identify as a gender, and the importance or gravity we lay upon it. You see, there is a gender dogma when it comes to our daily vernacular. How often do we see children segregate their language and activities by gender? You can see this in the daily lives of adults as well. The societal push to act like a boy/man or girl/woman. Why do we do this? There is no need. What if we were to eliminate the physical awareness of gender distinction. Now of course there has to be the awareness of sexual reproduction and sexual organs that distinguish individuals from another, but the weight, I advise, should be somewhat lessened.
In my youth there were many instances where I had to prove myself as a boy or man by doing many physically exploitative things. Fighting, working out, and talking back all proved that I was a man. Now how silly does that sound? To prove your gender is a preposterous idea when one looks at it in retrospect and logically. If we were to however focus on our minds instead of the trivial aspect of what hangs or does not hang inside one’s trousers than as a society, I believe that we would advance at a much more rapid rate. How much more wonderful would it be if our children worried about the contents of their minds rather than the contents of their pants. You see gender is not the social construct, the importance is.
Today we see the distinctions in gender even in our battles to prove their equality. The truth of the matter is that genders are not equal. They are entirely different. The each have their own benefits and weaknesses. So one cannot draw a straight line down society and expect equal outcomes from both genders. Our anatomies are too different. However, our intellect is most likely all that we have where potential is identical. Now a connection can be made.
The difference between gender anatomy is focused on, so as individuals we divide ourselves further with our gender. At an early age we are exposed and forced to acknowledge the difference between genders. Imagine how the world would be if we focused on the similarities of our brains? Our intellect? Our curiosity. . .
The distinction between genders might very well disappear completely. Sexual preference would be a thing of the past. Homosexuals and heterosexuals would dissipate into history. Everyone would be bi-sexual and bigotry over sexuality would hence disappear. And if a sexual preference were to rise up, no commotion or riot would ever suppress it, for gender distinction would no longer be something to worry about.
I believe that in all lives we can find a reoccurring theme. There will be some idea or conflict that will remain eternal throughout our lives. Mine is the tangibility of the mind. In many ways I am like a guinea pig used for my own experiments. Most of them have been thought experiments but they all stem out into the physical world so there really is no distinction to be made.
Now imagine the mind to be water. There are three states when it comes to water: solid, liquid, and gas. Colder climates will have ice and the warmer it gets the more abundant the other states of water there will be. Now imagine the environments of which the state of water exists to be the environments of which we reside. There are individuals out there who are less flexible with their thoughts, ideas, and imagination because their climate remains stagnate and inhibits progress and thus freezes the culmination of cognitive growth. These “freezing” climates would be like the minds of the illiterate, poor, and government bound.
Now enter the stage of where liberation or growth begins to culminate. Ideas of morality and equality emerge. This warmer climate would be well paired with religious households but in America. There is still a wide range of limiting ideas that could apply to whatever religion you are forced into but there is a wide range of liberating ideas, philosophies, and teachers that one could supplement themselves with. The more intellectual freedoms that are offered the warmer their intellectual environment becomes and the more freely they will be able to roam within the ethers of their minds.
Finally comes the last stage of the cognitive water, gas. This is when there are no faculties of intellectual confinement and one is free to roam and conceive new thoughts and ideas. One could imagine such a climate to be the equivalent to the laboratories of NASA or some other organization created for the purpose of experimentation, learning, and advancing. At such a stage no line of inquiry is prohibited or inclined. There are no preset notions of right and wrong, just discovery.
Now like all water vapors, oceans, and glaciers we do not remain in one state forever. If one is born in a particularly cold climate one does not have to stay there. However, just like how ice can eventually become gas, the gas can also become ice. As we advance through life we will not have any more control over the inputs of life today than we will tomorrow. To remain an intellectual one must stimulate one’s self with new ideas or else the mind will become cold and stop growing.
Love. Many will find my views to be unorthodox. Love to me is not necessary. Much of this view has come from my upbringing but it is true to how I think. Love to me is not a necessary component to any relationship. I do not even love my own family. I do not need to love someone because they are my mother, father, or family member. Of course I will tell my family that I love them but truly that is not the case. I think that it is idiotic that blood should predispose you to love a person, I believe that is a social construct that society has adhered itself to and used to form synthetic love or means to love. I believe this type of love is a fallacy. Now this view is founded upon a distorted view of love which deviates from my psychopathology.
Psychopathology is regarded to be something that is both genetic and nurturable. My psychopathology was formed through my environment. (It is ironic how seemingly synthetic and purposeful my, what some would call dissent into, psychopathology was.) It was created, most simply, by forceful means of psychological torture and experimentation. I can see why people would think I am unable to love because of the things I went through or, if they were to somehow find out, how I think, but I do believe that I can love. However strange that sounds one must know that, for the longest of times, love was something I could not understand or even begin to comprehend.
Love has been the bane of my existence for the longest time. Much of my later life was comprised of experiments and philosophical escapades in order to define the ridges of love and find a place for me to reside. I find that love is so complicated that I have given up many times to try to understand or master it.
Now for the type of love that deals with marriage, partnership, and sex, I am sure that I previously stated in my article about sex that limiting one’s self to a single sex is idiotic when it comes to finding partners to relate with. If you were looking for your “soul mate” you should not limit yourself to one sex because of the mere detail of what hangs or does not hang inside their pants. I would advise the reader to expand their possibilities and allow all people candidacy in their lives or pursuits. Now some might consider me to have asexual tendencies or to be an asexual altogether because of how trivial sex is to me. Sex to me is just pleasure. A simple act of coitus should not dictate the direction or depth of a relationship. I understand that today it is regarded to be a highly intimate detail to a relationship, but I would disagree with that. I think sex should be regarded as a simple activity of pleasure and should be exploited instead of being hidden under the covers of “intimacy” or “love”. Now that does not mean to have wild sex. One should only have sex when one is ready. Simple as that. If you are not ready for sex then do not have it.
Now that I have gotten that out of the way, I would love to say that the physical appearance bears no importance to me but that would be a lie. It is not as important to me as it use to be but it still bears interest. I am greatly infatuated with beauty and what is beautiful. I am a very poetic person and so I am on the constant search for beauty. So, as consequence, physical beauty interests me but there is something that is far more valuable to me. It is the internal beauty that resounds in the individual. If I were to search for love again then it would be a search through the internal worlds of the individuals I encounter. Nothing interests me more than the mind. I find stupidity to be repulsive so I do not find the beautiful but idiotic to be candidates in my world.
I would define my love to be more obsessive than anything else, but I think it is like that for everyone else. I just obsess through different means and because it is different people will look down upon my actions while they themselves share the same intent and emotion but direct their energies through more socially acceptable mediums.
Like all emotions that I deal with I dissect them down and find the upsides and downsides to every single emotion I encounter, whether it be love, anger, hate, joy, melancholy, etc…
Love has the upsides of bringing overwhelming happiness but also sadness. It is a tool for extremities. It is necessary to receive a shade of love every now and then but I would argue it is not necessary to reciprocate(This “shade” is the normal human contact that one receives whether it be on a daily or a weekly basis). Now every encounter does not have to be an intense expression or confession of love, it can be as simple as a greeting from a stranger or even a platonic conversation. I thrive not on the expressions of love but rather the deep intellectual conversations between the people I encounter.
Through all the encounters of my life, I have only ever loved one person.
Anger is the emotion I have had the most trouble over. There are times when I seem to have a grip on it and other times there is no telling. I have been trying to channel it to more productive means but sometimes it just does not work. I fear that I will one day lose control and do something that I will really regret. Anger has a place in the world but most of the times it chooses to show when it is most unneeded. And the anger of a psychopath is a little bit different from regular anger, I found. The anger of the regular individual will come out and disappear, usually. The common anger of a psychopath stays and lingers and latches onto everything it surrounds. That does not mean that the regular person cannot have the same effect it is just that the psychopath does this more often. Now we get angry over the most trivial things but that is just annoyance. Anger for us is something that is rare. It is like the difference between a burning fire and a erupting volcano. A fire is far more easier to control. When, however, a volcano erupts there is wide evacuation. You do not merely stop an eruption but rather prepare yourself for its impact. There were several instances in my life where I have gotten truly angry. There is one particular instance where I was actually halted in my release, ironically as I just described its unstoppable nature, in this instance I was silenced, but the after effects were tremendous. A simple fit of carnage turned into hate-filled grudge. If I were to ever commit murder, this would be why. It affects my psyche and the way I think. There use to be a time where I would have episodes of murder and pure destruction. A sort of frenzy that remained dormant inside of me would release itself and wreak havoc on the world that I create, often picturing the person I have in mind.
Kill me loudly,
There is beauty in waste. Would not the Mona Lisa be more cherished if it were to go down in flames and disappear for eternity? Does Attention not follow more closely after tragedy? That is the nature of this world. We will never know somethings true value until it is gone.
It is idiotic that this idea has even come to exist. We become comfortable and this is where we fail. We fail to plan. We fail to recognize the nature of the cosmos. Sure it is beautiful but many will also find beauty in the face of death and call their stupidity, bravery. That does not mean fear death but one should take precautions to stall its inevitable arrival.
Just like that one should never take life lightly. For death is nothing compared to the consequences of life. Imagine an afterlife where instead of facing judgement you face the person you could have become if you did not squander your time so profusely.
Tick Tock my friend, a few seconds before your end
We categorize things without question. We attach onto our consciousness shades of negativity and positivity. If we are feeling depressed we express it as a negative emotion, and an emotion such as joy as a positive one. This will be a little hard to grasp but imagine why we do this? Why say one is bad and not the other? Why is feeling bad bad? From whom or what does this come from?
Our consciousness is a combination of chemicals firing within our brain and yet we attach a sense of self. As if our consciousness is something that remains stable and stagnant. Many will never experience or want to experience hallucinogens, depressants, or any other chemicals because they think that they will not be themselves. (I implore you to read Sam Harris’ essay Drugs and the meaning of life.) This sense of self is an illusion.
This “self” or Consciousness is easily altered without the aid of drugs. How often do we not “feel ourselves” when we sleep too little or go without a cup of coffee. Caffeine, a drug that most citizens of the world dose themselves with on a daily basis, is a drug they use so they can ultimately “feel like themselves”. A single monolithic Consciousness is a misconception. We sway with our consciousness in waves of different unique states. So why label a fraction of states to be good and another to be bad?
One can enjoy all states of consciousness with the change of perspective. The mind is such a powerful tool and we undermine it by labeling its forms with such weak and limiting descriptors.
A very practical use is the manipulation of pain. I use to be terribly scared of pain but through mental training I have learned to separate myself from the body by, not ignoring it, but recognizing it. By recognizing that the pain is just a sensation mixed with chemicals and nerves, this reminds me that I do not have to view pain to be a negative sensation. Does this sound ridiculous? Yes? You shut your face. Just kidding. Try it and see for yourself. It will not be easy but go on your own journey and see where it takes you.